26 February 2010

these boots were made for walking

Confession:  I have shoe envy.  Not, "Gee, those shoes are cute" envy, but "Those shoes are so sick, I must have them or it will consume my life" envy.  Unfortunately, due to my genetically inherited rectangle feet, those shoes are completely and totally lost on me.  I don't think people with normal shaped feet even understand how lucky they are.  They can walk into any store, point at a pair of shoes in their size and walk right back out of the store with them, sometimes even wearing them, while carrying the shoes they wore into the store.

Not me.  I have to slink all the way to the back, past the rows and rows of funky printed shoes to the dark corner reserved for wide widths.  To say that those shoes are unattractive is being nice.  Have you ever seen a nice pair of wide width heels?  No, you haven't.  And do you want to know why?  Because they don't exist.  Those of us cursed with "EEE" and wider width feet are blessed with shoes that are just as boxy as our feet are.  This is where I think the shoemakers have gone wrong.  If we wanted to wear boxes on our feet, we'd pull a Howard Hughes and do it.  Can't you picture yourself sharing a romantic evening with your beloved while sporting a matching pair of Kleenex boxes on your feet?  (You all know the ones I mean; they've got the little white persian kittens on them...)

In my mind I am far more glamourous than I really am.  In my mind, I have places to go where   pair of $300 Louboutins is mandatory and failure to wear them would result in termination of some sort.  Of course, in my mind, I also possess the dexterity to stay upright while wearing said shoes. (Another drawback to my rectangle feet - anything higher than a half inch heel, and I'm walking on my ankles)

In reality, the closest thing I have to "dress shoes" are my beloved Doc Martens or my flower printed Birkenstocks (shoes made for the wide foot..)  There's nothing wrong with that, but just once I would love to walk into a room, leopard print heels on and scream "Check me out!"..and then  muster up all the dignity I have to fall flat on my face with style, and wish I'd worn something more comfortable.

1 comment:

love me, love me. say that you love me.